Three Perspectives on a Cup, Part I

When three different people look at the same object, they are actually translating that object in three completely different ways. Sure, they all can agree on some points.

“It’s a cup.” Says one.
“Yup.” Agrees the second.
“Well, duh!” From the third.

From there, though, things don’t always go the same way.

“Its half full, right?”
“Are you kidding? Obviously, it’s half empty!”
“No, he’s right, it is half full- of ACID!”
“What? No, that’s not what I meant. It’s not… aw, forget it!”

Even when people speak a common language, their use of words are colored by how those words were used in their family, and can have slightly different meanings than expected. Most of the time, these different interpretations of a word are very subtle, and will go unnoticed. Sometimes, though, they are big enough to cause an unexpected emotional reaction.

In most families, for example, it is taught that when you do something wrong you apologize by saying, “I’m sorry.” In some of those families this is taught to the child, but never used by the parent, which can lead to the phrase losing its meaning. The child can grow up feeling the need to say, “I’m sorry,” when they make a mistake, but finding themselves unable to accept that same apology from another person because it was never given to them as a child.

In another example, that same phrase may end up being used by the parents with either a sarcastic tone, or without any honesty at all, leading their child to grow up seeing that apologetic phrase as something hostile or insulting.

The way words are translated in a person's family during their childhood is rarely questioned by that person, until they become mature enough to realize that their family is only a small part of the world they live in. Sometimes, even adults don't figure this out, and go through their whole lives thinking people outside their families are rude and hostile even when they obviously aren't.

There is very little that can be done about this when you encounter such a limited person, but if you find yourself being offended or even confused about the things people are saying to you, stop, and compare their words to the things they have done for, to, and in front of you. Let their actions be a guide as how to translate their language. If the person is always looking out for your best interest, and has always been there for you as a friend, then you know that they probably aren't being hostile when they are trying to get a point across to you.

So, the cup. Those three perspectives...

Language barriers, even in the same language, are only part of this story.
To be continued...